Comments on: Self-forgiveness – Key toward a flourishing life

By: Bernie

Bernie — Mon, 17 Apr 2023 21:32:33 +0000

Dear Anne Marie,
I really appreciate your invaluable feedback to my article. You’ve got a point by saying “Making mistakes can be humbling, but they can also serve as invaluable learning experiences. Also taking accountability for our errors instead of blaming others often takes both courage and humility”. This took me back to our Psychology program, a few years ago, with the Cardinal virtues namely fortitude, temperance, justice, and prudence. Self-forgiveness forces us to do the introspection and help to develop those important virtues in our life, which is the starting point of a flourishing life. According to Aristotle, possessing these virtues makes a person good, happy, and flourishing.
Thank you again for your comment.

By: Anne Marie Vale

Anne Marie Vale — Sun, 16 Apr 2023 01:12:39 +0000

You have provided excellent advice in this article! Also, we should differentiate between an honest error, which you must accept as part of our human frailty and an intentional, unkind action against another that may directly cause harm and hurt another’s feelings. For example, if you inadvertently call a wrong phone number, you may simply apologize to the person you called by mistake and simply move on. It was not intentional, and to be obsessive about an error like that is a sign that you are trying to reach perfection, which no human being ever does. Making mistakes can be humbling, but they can also serve as invaluable learning experiences. Also taking accountability for our errors instead of blaming others often takes both courage and humility. By the same token, once you do take responsibility and try to correct our former, misguided conduct, you must simply move on and do your best to seek ways to improve. For example, if you become impatient and speak rudely to a co-worker, friend, or family member, that is different from an honest error because it was intentional, and you should do your best to make amends. Of course, the means of making amends should be commensurate with the magnitude of the offense. Apologizing to the offended party, while trying to become more patient and prudent in your future actions would show you are making demonstrable efforts to make amends. If you do believe in a higher power, perhaps you can pray to that higher power, asking for forgiveness and strength to gradually overcome various faults and failings. As one who believes in God, I ask Him daily to forgive me and give me the courage to overcome my faults. In the Catholic Church, the Sacrament of Reconciliation is a blessing. The priest acts as a representative of God and serves as a liaison between God and the penitent. Both forgiveness and grace are provided to the penitent if true contrition and a firm resolve to amend one’s ways are also demonstrated. I am simply sharing my personal experience. Whatever your personal belief system is, treating others in a fair and just manner while both accepting and offering mercy are important means of building and maintaining trusting relationships with others.

By: Bernie

Bernie — Thu, 13 Apr 2023 00:32:01 +0000

In reply to Emma.

Thank you so much for your feedback, Emma!
Yes, the idea is to make us reflect and take a trip to our past and forgive ourselves in order to move forward.
One cannot drive a car only looking in the rearview mirror. It is necessary to take a look time to time in the rearview mirror in order to adjust the driving and move forward. Besides, we tend to be harsh on ourselves than we are with others.

By: Emma

Emma — Wed, 12 Apr 2023 20:37:59 +0000

As I was reading the article, I could identify all the key components that I relate to and it gave me a different perspective on how to tackle my challenges in order to move forward in my journey of healing myself. Thank you and congrats for a well written article.